What You Need To Know About Child Sexual Abuse
WHAT IS CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE?
Childhood sexual abuse is a physical violation of a child's body through any sort of sexual contact or by a psychological violation of a child's personal space through verbal or visual sexual behavior. In either case, this abuse is neglectful, disrespectful, and hurtful because it violates a child's basic rights to be protected, nurtured, and guided throughout childhood.
Childhood sexual abuse, no matter what form it takes, does great and long-lasting hurt to its victims. In coming to recognize past sexual abuse, it may be beneficial to answer the following questions:
• Did anyone ever touch your genitals or have you touch theirs?
• Were you ever French kissed, or sexually penetrated in any way?
• Were you subject to embarrassing and degrading sexual remarks and taunts?
• Were you spied on while dressing or bathing?
• Were you given excessive enemas or were your genitals frequently and harshly washed because you were always "dirty"?
• Were you shown pornographic pictures or invited to watch X- rated videos?
It doesn't matter whether the abuse was physical or nonphysical, verbal, or visual. It disrupts childhood development, causing low self-esteem, distorted beliefs about body image and sexuality, and a lack of trust in caregivers and the world in general. Children and young teens may, of their own choice, do some mutual sexual exploration with peers, but this is most often done out of natural curiosity and it is not abusive. But, if you were forced or coerced into any sort of sexual contact — physical or nonphysical — as a child, then you were sexually abused.
Were You Abused?
An adult's awareness of sexual abuse in childhood may be a very gradual sort of recognition. Most women tend to deny or minimize what happened to them. Their abusers most often made it clear that what took place was to remain secret, and many child victims were threatened with great bodily harm if they told that secret to anybody. Keeping the secret and lying when necessary were ways survivors learned to cope with the abuse. Now, as adults, the abuse may seem even further away to the survivors. In some extreme cases, they may even see it as "normal." Most adult survivors do not permit themselves to think of their childhood selves as vulnerable little children who were cruelly victimized. The memories are too painful and scary.
If you were sexually violated in any way as a child, it will be important for you to fully explore what happened to you. But take things slowly, move at a pace that feels comfortable for you, and be good to yourself along the way. When the time feels right, you can begin to break the secret about the abusive episodes in your past and the feelings you have surrounding them. *Make sure you speak with those you trust and feel comfortable with — friends, support group members, and counselors. You are the best judge of who to talk with about your concerns. So take each step only as you feel ready for it, and you will feel that much stronger and more sure of yourself as you proceed.
